Seven Times?                                    Matthew 18:21-35

Last week we talked about turning the other cheek and how by not giving in to our desire for retaliation we are opening the door for God to intervene. How it shows mercy to those who wrong us and how it reflects how God treats those of us who believe and trust in Christ.

Even after last week’s message this kept playing over and over in my mind. And as always I look to my life to try to understand why something is bothering me. I realized that there have been times in my life that I “stuffed” my feelings so I could turn the other cheek and ultimately this caused resentment and anger so I looked to scripture to see what it says about this.

I opened my Bible and almost immediately found these verses we just read so I tried to see how they applied to what we looked at last week. I found that; at least in my life, turning the other cheek is only half of it, that it just causes me problems if there is no forgiveness involved. And when I saw that God led me to Peter I really started to pay attention.

Peter is one of my favorite people in the Bible. Peter is the one who always seems to ask Jesus those questions everyone else is thinking but are afraid to ask. Today Peter asks, “What if someone hurts me, what if someone betrays me,” or as he puts it, “what if someone sins against me,” how many times do I have to forgive them? In other words, “How many times do I have to let it pass before I can let them have it?”

How many of us does this sound like, “I’m holding my tongue now but just keep it up? It can be me at times. Someone does something to me, ok; they do it again, ok; they keep it up and eventually I jump, “Enough, now let me tell you something!”

Peter is asking for a definite number of times someone can act out against him before he’s free to react and I believe he probably thinks he’s being charitable by offering to hold his temper for seven times and he’s probably very surprised by Jesus answer, “Not seven times but seventy-seven times.”

Some Bibles say seven times seventy-seven. Either way, it’s a lot. Actually it’s not meant to give us a finite number; we’re not supposed to go around with a ledger counting up incidents. It’s meant to represent more times than you can keep track of. In essence we are supposed to forgive someone as many times as they act against us.

Before we go any farther I think it’s important to define exactly what it means to forgive. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “forgive” as “To stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offence, flaw or mistake.”

We can see by this definition that to forgive is an internal choice. Someone does something to me; it is me that decides to stay angry or to forgive. If I hold on to my anger, who suffers? Anger tends to fester. It tends to boil over into our interactions with people who had nothing to do with the offence. Councilors say many arguments between couples have little to do with each other, they’re caused by resentment and anger brought home that are caused by someone outside the relationship.

Hanging on to anger can also cause us physical symptoms such as headaches or insomnia. And I bet the person who offended you isn’t losing any sleep over it. Forgiving someone is simply letting go of the anger.

Notice what forgiveness is not. Don’t we commonly think forgiveness means to forget what happened, to move on like nothing did happen? That’s not Biblical. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean all is forgotten or that trust is automatically reestablished. Forgiving doesn’t mean we put ourselves back into the same situation. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. When we forgive we simply choose not to expend our emotional and spiritual energy on a situation that happened, forgiveness is reclaiming our sanity.

Luke 9:5 says, “If people do not welcome you, leave and shake the dust off your feet…” Jesus uses this primarily to refer to those who do not want God in their lives. We only can plant a seed, we can walk away with a clear conscience if they make a decision not to believe.

But we’ve talked about this verse before and I see it as having merit on today’s reading. When we’ve done what we can, when we’ve reclaimed our emotions and spiritual health by forgiving, we do not need to stay in the situation, we can walk away from a friendship or relationship or even a family member without guilt.

There is another definition for “forgive”, “To cancel a debt.” Jesus gives us a parable to show us what forgiveness looks like in God’s eyes. Jesus describes a man who owes the King 10,000 bags of gold, a hefty amount meant to represent a sum that can never be paid. We see the king takes pity on him and forgives his debt.

The Bible says we owe God a sin debt for our actions; conscience and unconscious actions. To a Holy God we owe a lot, we owe 10,000bags of gold; we owe more than we can pay.

In our parable the king was going to have the man and his family sold to pay the debt. To a Holy God we pay our debt by spending eternity outside his presence. But the king in the story forgave the servants debt. God loves us so much he doesn’t want us to suffer, yet as a perfect and Holy God payment must be made; and it is, by Jesus at the cross.

Jesus takes all our mistakes, all our infirmities, all our sin and shame and guilt; he takes them all upon his body. All of God’s punishment for our sins is extracted from Christ’s body by the whip and the thorns and the nails. By Jesus physical death on the cross all of God’s anger over our sins is exhausted. And as a perfect and Holy God he cannot punish us for the same sin that Jesus already paid for. And since Jesus paid for all sin; past, present and future, we do not need to fear God or his judgment any more. All we need to do is believe in Jesus and the cross and our debt is forgiven.

But Jesus goes on from here and tells us how we are to act because of God’s forgiveness. This servant who was forgiven much; 10,000 bags of gold, refuses to forgive a small debt owed him.

We have been forgiven by God a debt we could not pay and yet we at times refuse to forgive a debt owed us. Have I ever held on to anger and refused to forgive because I felt I was owed an apology? Sadly, yes. What God has done for us he asks that we do for others.

We see in our reading that when the first servant refused to forgive the second there were consequences. The king sent the first servant to prison until he could pay the original debt.

Verse 35, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Does this mean we can lose our salvation? No. But it does mean we still face consequences for our actions. We can lose the blessings of life that God offers. We can be left to suffer in this life, not so much as a punishment but as a lesson of a father who wants the best for his children. Earthly fathers teach their children to play nice with others, in a way our heavenly Father does the same,       no matter our age.

Saying I know Jesus is one thing, living as he tells me is another. No, we will not be perfect at it but if you never try was your belief and conversion sincere? Look at the news and you will see many who claim Christ yet live a life of prejudice, intolerance and hate. I am afraid many at the end of the age will say like they do in Luke 13:26, “We ate and drank with you.” and they will get the same response as Jesus gives in Luke 13:27, “I do not know you or where you come from. Away from me you evil doers.”   

Jesus wants us to treat other as God has treated us and he reinforces this in the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”

We are told to forgive as many times as there are offences. Forgive, but do not stay in abusive or damaging relationships. Forgiveness is not trust, to forgive means you simply chose to stop being angry or resentful.

When we focus on the debts we are owed there are consequences. As believers we don’t lose God’s grace but we can lose the life and blessing he has planned for us.

Amen.